If it please (and amuse) the court…
Several months ago, the opening line of a story came to me, and it made me crack up so hard the people at the Sunday Writing Cafe demanded to know what had gone through my mind.
The first time I met the tom, I knew he was going to be trouble. He walked in like he owned the place, not an orange tuft out of place, sleek and slick and pretending like he didnâ€™t have a problem. I knew he had one; you could see it in their eyes, and anyway, the Human wouldnâ€™t send me one who didnâ€™t.
Thatâ€™s what I do. I fix problems. They call me the Duchess, and I know every back alley milk-dealer and fishmonger in the city.
â€œOh, you have to write that!â€ was the general reaction.
â€œThere is no way anyone would buy this,â€ I protested. â€œItâ€™d be total crackfic!â€ Unlike my â€˜realâ€™ mysteries, written under the name L.A. Kornetsky, where I try to keep things realistic, this would have cats and dogs and humans (and rats, because whatâ€™s pseudo-noir without a dirty rat or two?) interacting in an equal and implausible levelâ€¦
â€œThatâ€™s why it would be so much fun!â€ my friends went on, because theyâ€™re Like That.
â€œAnd I donâ€™t have time to write original fiction just to amuse myself, not with bills to pay and a diabetic cat to keep in medicationâ€¦â€ And at that point my objections tripped over their own feet.
â€œDo it as a Patreon,â€ someone suggested, sensing my weakness. â€œWrite the cat noir crackfic to cover the cost of CatofSizeâ€™s insulin!â€
Because everyone knows that CatofSize has more fans online that I do.
But then life got busy with other things, and I pushed the story to the sideâ€¦.but the story kept pushing back, and I realized that writing it was going to happen, one way or the other. And CatofSizeâ€™s insulin isnâ€™t getting any cheaper.
So here it is, your chance to encourage my more gonzo side, and see what happens in the dark corners of my mind when I havenâ€™t had quite enough sleep and things get
weird silly utterly ridiculousâ€¦.