Off an article about finding cannabis residue in Shakespeare’s (house) pipes, there was a call for relevant/related puns. I …did not pun. I did something possibly worse.
Sonnet 139, the first draft
O, call not me to justify the bong
That thy unkindness offers me to smoke;
Pack me not dimebag trash but a gift more strong;
Use power with power and slay me not by toke.
Tell me thou buyest elsewhere, else in my sight,
Dear heart, forbear to claim thou art too broke:
What need’st thou wound with cunning when thy might
Is more than my o’er-pressâ€™d habit can bide?
Let me excuse thee: ah! my need well knows
Those tasty snacks have been mine enemiesâ€¦
*loses all forward motion, orders a pizza instead.*
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